9/19/13
View Logs: Dads S1 Episode 1
...FUCK THIS SHOW...ok... ok ok..okokokok... I realize that I might seem a little... what you human thingies call.. whiny? Maybe? Yeah... yeah I know. I mean, I try not to. I find it way easier to not be overly negative in the good stuff... or... the heady stuff that might not be as good but are atleast trying like Low Winter Sun...butFUCKTHISSHOW... ok... ok... I can't keep typing that no matter how much I basically just want to fill this log with basically that for ten pages... I mean what is happening to me? I'm a machine! I don't have emotions! I analyze not consumBUTFUCKTHISGODDAMMSHOW...
The jokes aren't clever, they don't develop, and most of them aren't even fucking proper jokes! Let me give a perfect example of what I'm talking about:
In the episode there is a scene where Giovanni Ribisi's Dad walks in him playing video games.
- The camera is facing the back of the tv screen (and thus right on Ribisi and his Dad) the whole time.
- Ribisi's dad comes in and says "oh are you bashing Puerto Ricans?".
- And then there's a laugh track.
Oh this is just the tip of the iceberg for bad jokes. There's one that's so painfully unfunny at the beginning, I almost thought I busted a processor witnessing it. So Seth Green is in a sound studio recording voice over for a fantasy video game (no idea why since it's later shown that he's making a kill Hitler snuff game that you'd see on like newgrounds but whatever...). The joke unfolds like this.
- Voice actor does a line.
- Seth Green: Can you make it sound more like a wizard?
- Voice actor: what kind of a wizard.
- Seth Green: ...A... magic wizard?
- Laugh track.
See... what would have been a proper way to set up this joke is if the Chinese investors want the game company to make a dating sim game to compete with the Japanese video game industry. So they decided to take on the project but it's a little too lewd for most Americans to be comfortable with and Seth Green and Giovanni Ribisi are trying their best to get the job done by Americans while trying to hide the true intent/content of the game. So maybe the Wizard is actually a sex wizard or something... and Seth Green is trying to get the actor to play a sex Wizard without him realizing he's playing a sex Wizard (which I hear does happen slightly in the real hentai industry... where voice actors don't always know the true extent of their projects especially ones that voice really minor side characters.)
There! Atleast it's a setup and a play on the "redundant explanation" joke. What do we get in Dads? Opening shot with no real context... and the joke is "just... play a magic wizard." And this show was written by the writers of Family GUY?! EXCUSE ME?!
I already picked at the Asian jokes (BTW if you seriously try to get please Chinese investors with a Japanese school girl, you're probably going to get beaten to death on the spot. Japanese and Chinese have been killing each other a lot in the 19th and 20th century. Trust me even if you are too uncultured to tell the difference between them, they can.) But the Asian joke that ended the show was goddamm infuriating. So one of the Chinese investor sent Brenda Song a picture of his penis. And Brenda reacted by making fun of how small the penis is. Then the entire cast gathers around the phone and joins in. For like 4 whole minutes. You know the really really unfunny Family Guy bits where the writers put in a joke that's barely funny then tries to make it funny by dragging it out? This specific segment in Dads has reached a completely new low for that. It's not even worth raging about. I can't do it justice with just text on a screen. You'll have to watch it yourself and see how absolutely unfunny most of it is. I mean... Alec Sulkin? Wellesley Wild? (The actual creators and writers of the show btw). Are we in the 8th grade? Did you suddenly have to channel Michael Bay to come up with humor this juvenile?
So... I hope I've given you apt examples of how dumb, blunt, juvenile, and poorly executed the jokes in Dads are. If you still find them funny? I don't know what to tell you except that you are wrong. If you STILL found ANY of this funny. You are like a twi-hard who refuses to see how batshit insanely horrible Twilight is as a story. I'm sorry. I usually don't come out and outright insult people who have a different opinions than me. But fuck it with this show, I'm channeling Mark Oshiro this time.
This isn't a matter of having different opinions anymore, this is a matter of enjoying lazy shitty craft that a dumb high school jock can write in his sleep.
Sitcoms are better than that.
Comedies are better than that.
TV. IS. BETTER. THAN. THAT.
Ugh. Can't WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIT for episode 2... Oh, also one more thing. That character development with Seth Green's dad right at the end was completely bullshit. It's forced sentimentality that tries to trick you into thinking you're watching something "with heart" (/gag). Sounds familiar?... Anyways, if they really wanted character development (cause most great comedies actually have a lot of character development) this should have been more of a season long arc. You know, like each episode has Seth Green and his Dad getting closer when they are together more. You know... that's one example of a potential seasonal character arc? Like... it's not weird for episodic comedies to have seasonal arcs anymore. The Big Bang Theory has subtle character arcs... Everybody Loves Raymond had subtle character arcs. Curb your Enthusiasm had subtle character arcs. Heck even 2 Broke Girls has some subtle arcs... and 2 Broke Girls is shitty as all hell... But nope... Dads just have Seth Green and his Dad essentially solve their established problems within like 3 minutes... Seriously when you make The Big Bang Theory AND 2 Broke Girls look like comedy gold, you seriously have problems.(PS this show's premise isn't even really that original. Remember "Shit My Dad Says?" Yeah... me either.)
